I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
