they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
