i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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