I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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