miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Damn victory sex feels great
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
