Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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