That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
