even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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