Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
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