When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
