i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
