i may or may not be watching the land before time
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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