Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
