Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
