Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
