when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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