I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
