I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
