I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
