I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if only i could text you this smell
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
you never un-have a 4some
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
