The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm at about main and main street
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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