I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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