My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Randomize
