i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
