Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceaƱera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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