girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
