Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
