pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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