how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
