I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
