You really coming over, don't trick.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
