I must be too annoying 4 u.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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