its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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