the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
this boner is exhausting
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
