I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
