dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
