Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
