That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You need a sexual gate keeper
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
