wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
