i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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