I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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