come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
