Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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