brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
