Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
