I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
