What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
