New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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