I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
