my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
