Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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